DADDY ISSUES

we are lost in the same song,we’re the same lost song. -Yvonne Adhiambo Owour,Dust.

Dear world,

I came across Elizabeth’s Coreys story and …wow.

“in my family men had sex with little girls, it was our normal, it was our culture and it was generational.

“my father became physically abusive with me.i was suffocated, physically assaulted, abandoned, strangled, starved and hit many times in the head.”

“….he never passed an opportunity to make money.so he sold me to his friends… He sold me to groups of men who were having bachelor parties, he sold me to gangs and he sold me to a pimp.”

Another story of a young 18 year old girl from a town in Uganda, was sold into sex slavery to a 60 year old man so as to pay debts incurred by the family.

“when I tell people that my parents had turned me into a sex slave yet I cannot report them to the police, they think it’s a bad joke ,but it is not. ”

“He comes during the day and when he does… My father goes to the nearest trading centre so this man can have his way with me… what shocks me is when he is done, he calls my dad on phone to come back home because he is done. “

There’s also the monotonous stories of…Man abusing wife,physically,emotionally,mentally.In front of children causing mental trauma to the children

“as a child I grew up In a household where betrayal and fear run deep….for years I watched as he abused my mum both physically and mentally .”

From a story I read.

Cases like these bring about women who yarn for protection from an older male figure to fill the emotional void left by the father.

It also brings about women who have a loathing for men in general as a result of the emotional and mental scarring left by their fathers.

And mybe just mybe daddy issues is the reason behind socialites .

Now we grow up knowing that the father is the head of the house, the bread winner, the protector but it’s not the case anymore with runaway dads who refuse their responsibilities and abusive dads and the special kind who…

” on the second night he came to my room…he held me tight and gave me a long kiss on the lips… that is the night I gave my virginity to my dad”

We need our strong protective fathers back, those who read the Bible or Koran with and for us, those who take us to church or the mosque, those who we don’t find in clubs with girls young enough to be their daughters, those who teach us that girls and boys are equal,dads who tell us to study hard and make something of ourselves not those who don’t even know of which grade we are in, dads who are involved, dads who are there, always.

We need those. And since there’s not much we can do for the already spilt milk how about we who aren’t fathers and mothers yet be the best when we get there to avoid the consequences of letting into the world little girls with messed up ideologies and daddy issues.

And for those with daddy issues, talk about it because as Maya Angelou says…

“there’s no greater agony than bearing an untold story inside you. “

Yours truly,

Nduta’sletters

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