Remember when I said, sex workers are real people with real issues on my previous post?let’s dive into that shall we?
Xtian ndela came up with an app called Toboa where people engage freely and share experiences.The app according to me has been a success.however,this post is not an app review post.
Why I’m including talk about the app is because it is from the app that I got some very harsh realities of some ladies We shall call them Jane and Ann.(not their real names)
If you have the Toboa app then you’ve come across the audio confessions of a
Lady who has dubbed herself,’the depressed prostitute.’ this is jane .
Jane comes from a well off family,she has an education.is very eloquent .so why is she in that trade when she can get a job,when she has family by her side?
You see Rafikis,there are certain things that happen to us and when we don’t clean out our closets to completion…when we don’t remove all the cobwebs and dust,then it always lingers and you might not notice it at first but it always goes on to influence our decisions ,our actions,our response to certain situations in life.
Jane was gang raped by four men when she was younger.
She went out for dinner with a female friend.She explains that she remembers waking up in a room naked with four men.
Life has never been the same from there onwards.
She would go on to meeting a man who treated her different who claimed to love her despite her flaws .she got pregnant.The man left.
Jane gave her child over to her parents because she cannot look after herself let alone another human being.no one close to her knows of her where abouts,she took on to cutting.her suicidal thoughts are all the rage.
Depression is a bitch,you guys, depression eats you up ,gives you an empty feeling worse than alone,worse than sad and that sadness,it eats you alive.
It’s been over 5 years in the trade.she started it at age 16.why she took confesses she wanted to be incharge of her sex life. And since men wanted her,she thought,why not get something monetary from it?
Now, Ann,isnt really a woman who sleeps with men for money but she does sleep with different men for purposes of feeling like she’s in control.she is what we call a slut.
Ann got raped by a neighbor at a tender age who would in turn beat her up and tell her not to reveal the situation to anyone,another man raped her too who was the neighbors friends doubling the effects on her.
The climax of things happened when she was abit older ,had a boyfriend who invited her over for drinks with some friends at his place.when she woke up,one of her boyfriends friends was ontop of her,all the other men around her naked.
She took on to cutting.
She has been sleeping with men for the feel of control.
I know that a ladys body is not a workplace,I know that we should treat our bodies like blooming rare flowers but, my opinion of that doesn’t matter,neither does yours.
Now don’t get me wrong as a Christian, I am not praising the trade or the behaviour.
As a feminist,I’m for do not slut shame,do not stand with misogyny,do not stand with patriarchy,stop victim blaming,stop cissexism,stop heterosexism.Men sleep around and aren’t called sluts why are we?
My point is you cannot tell anyone what to do with their bodies.choosing to stand aganist someone just because their moral compass dictates them to living differently is rather vague,a tab bit unfair.
The bottom line is,there’s always a story.Theres always a reason.so don’t be too quick to judge.
Also,we should speak up and find closure when things like this happen .
Things eventually work out for good for those who love the Lord.
I do not have answers to why things happen, no one does .
All in all…God is good.
Lastly,we ladies need to look after each other.
Blessings and love,